The condensed story of me and my man

It was about 21 years ago, if I remember correctly. I was at mutual-a weeknight activity for the youth ages, 12-18, in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I was visiting with one of my friends. I saw a boy walking from across the grass. Nonchalantly I asked her if she knew who it was. Much to my surprise she replied in the affirmative. She not only knew who it was, but she was related to this boy. That wasn't overly surprising, since she was related to a lot of people!

I innocently quizzed her for a while about him. Where was he from? Where was he living now? How old was he? Important little details, like what was his name? She was gracious and answered all my questions. Near the ending of the conversation she assured me that I would never be able to get this boy to like me. Never, he is simply too shy! I remember her words like it was yesterday that we were standing outside the old LDS Ward Building, "You will never get him to like you. He is too shy!"

A challenge. Yes, that is exactly what it was. I wouldn't say that I am the most competitive individual, but for some reason, this was a challenge that I was committed to. I knew, without any doubt in my mind, that I could get this "too shy" boy to like me and I was going to prove it to everyone!

I didn't exactly have a plan of how I was going to achieve this, rather, I just knew that before long he would like me. I started off just saying "Hi!" Everyday in the halls at school, at church, or wherever I saw him. I would say "Hi." Usually he would smile, possibly respond, but it was always very quietly. I would have to pay close attention and listen well, or I would not be able to pick up any response.

This went on for a few months. I was beginning to think that my friend was correct in her assessment months earlier. I was never going to get this boy to like me, heck I was never going to get this boy to do more than smile shyly at me as he passed me in the halls at school! Time passed. Eventually, I am not sure how it happened exactly, but he finally started responding to me when I would say "hi!" Hallelujah! More time went by and before I knew it, the E-X-T-R-E-M-L-Y shy boy, was changing to just a shy boy! Progress, definitely progress.

Since we were in middle school, we started "going out!" Such a funny thing, being in middle school. An even funnier thing is "going out" while in middle school. Most aren't really going anywhere. I guess I should re-phrase that. Most aren't really going anywhere with there parents knowing! "Going out" more refers to exclusive dibs on another person. Some may hold hands. Some would eat lunch together. Hang out for the few seconds between classes. Passing notes to each other was a huge characteristic of going out when I was in middle school! Some kissed, and some even "made out!"

My going out with this boy consisted of note sharing, talking on the phone-or him listening to me talk on the phone, attending his basketball games, and him mine, going to Stake Dances, and hanging out at lunch time. I don't think we ate lunch together, but hung out afterwards. Eventually we did hold hands, but I am pretty sure that was initiated by me.

After about 1 year of going out, we kissed-on the cheek! This whole going out saga lasted about 18 months and then ended, tragically like most teenage dramas. It was rough for a while, but life goes on when you are a teenager. He had his sports. I had school, work, and my friends. I would add that many of my female friends were extremely satisfied to see the dissolving of our going out time. That meant great things for all of them-now they could each have there shot at getting this shy guy to like them. At times it was quite comical to observe the attempts of other girls to catch his eye.

We kept in touch. Really it wasn't hard to stay afloat as to what the other was up to. We were in the same ward. Attended a relatively small high school, and had a lot of the same friends. I would say we were friends, not super close friends, rather cordial friends. By the time are Senior year of high school rolled around I decided that we were going to go to Prom together and be graduation walking partners.

Somehow, I managed to ask him to Prom before anyone else. I still am not quite sure how I was able to achieve that, but I did. FYI-he didn't have to ask girls out, because they were swarming over him. Prom worked out well. He was popular and well liked so he was on Prom court-me not so popular, but it was fine! Walking together for graduation was a blessing for him. I was smart, a member of Honor's Society, and had a last name early in the alphabet-so he got a front row seat and was able to walk across the graduation stage early in the game vs at the end of the line! I would say a win-win for both of us, for both big events!

After graduation I had about a 2 week vacation prior to heading off to college. I wasn't sure what this friend of mine was doing. I just assumed he would go on his mission in a few months and that would be that. Of course, I should have known better. I was going to college with a few girls that were going to keep close tabs on him, therefore I would be privy to knowing all his ins and outs forever.

He did serve a mission. Most of my high school friends attended his missionary farewell. I did not go. I wasn't really interested in keeping tabs on him, so why would I go? I heard all about it, after the fact. Several of these same friends wrote to him on his mission. Occasionally they would ask if I wanted to include a note or send a letter also. Again, why would I want to do that? I never did send any type of correspondence to him.

After his 2 year mission my friends again packed up to go and hear him speak on his mission in church. Nope, I didn't go. Once again, I did hear all about it. I always wondered why everyone was so interested in keeping such a close eye on this boy. OK, he was handsome-it's the dimples, they are killer! Anyhow, I personally never made any attempt to keep in contact with him.

A few months after he returned home from his mission my roommate-who had kept close tabs on him-began hanging out with him again. I was happy for her. I thought maybe the 2 of them would hook up, get married, and that would be that. We did a few things together, but nothing came to fruition and the next thing I heard was he was joining the military!

I was surprised, but happy for him. I knew that the military provided stability and training, which are all important for a successful life. To be honest, one of the main reasons I distanced myself from this boy was because I was concerned that I may begin to like him and I wasn't sure he had any direction in his life. Sure he served a mission, but that was done and over, now what?

Again, my friends kept track of his comings and goings-and would fill me in on occasion. I believe it was after September 11th, 2001 that I decided to try and contact him through email. Like many others I was concerned about our nation and the world. So I sent him an email, fully expecting to never get a response in return. He was not as shy as he was many years previous, but I would still say he was quite reserved. Much to my surprise I got an email the next day. We began to email back and forth on occasion. He had a girlfriend and I had a guy that I was interested in. It was fun to re-connect and start a friendship again.

About a year later he was coming to the states to visit family. We had exchanged phone numbers and the plan was to meet up in Utah and do something together one afternoon. To make a long story shorter, he never called. I called him, left a message, but he didn't call back. So I was heading back to Oregon, what a wasted trip. At this point, I think he still had a girlfriend and we were just friends! I hadn't gotten very far when I called one last time or maybe he called me-not sure which-but we met up and had a fun time together.

We continued to e-mail over the next 9 or 10 months. It was time for him to have a base transfer. He had put in for Mountain Home Air Force Base in Idaho and Hill AFB in Utah. His mom was praying for Utah. I was praying for Idaho. I told him we would just see whose prayers were stronger! I won, he was assigned to Mt. Home!

There was a brief in-person dating period, then we got engaged, and married within a matter of months. He had overcome his intense shyness. Definitely was not happy with just a kiss on the cheek anymore either!

Since then we have been married for 11+ years, had 4 kids, and lived in a lot of places! He has squashed most of my concerns about his lack of direction and ability to take care of me and a family. We have both grown up!

He is a wonderful husband. We have fun together and enjoying being with each other. I am sure he wishes he would have married someone with a tad bit more athletic ability, but we all can't have everything we want, now can we! He is patient, kind, strong, and he smells good-in fact, he smells the same as he did all those 21 years ago! He supports me, helps me, encourages me, but most important loves me-even on all the days that I am not the most lovable person to be around. He is always concerned for my happiness. He would rather be with me than anyone else!

I am eternally grateful that all my friends kept track of this guy for me. Grateful they kept me up-to-date of his comings and goings. I know we are supposed to be together. I know we compliment each other-even though we do share many similar traits, we have enough differences to make life interesting!

On this Valentine's Day I am grateful for the gentle husband that I have. He has taught me to relax-I am still up-tight, but better than I used to be. He has taught me that it is ok to have dishes in the sink and the bed un-made; well occasionally! He has taught me to be a little kinder and a lot more patient. I love this husband of mine and am definitely a better person with him in my life and by my side!